


Perfect with You

by kmsmitty



Series: Soft Hearts, Electric Souls [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Conflict, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 10:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20638001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmsmitty/pseuds/kmsmitty
Summary: Doyoung looks back on his relationship with Taeyong. A lot has changed over the years. He thinks he might be ready to commit to a future he's been terrified of.





	Perfect with You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello. This is a continuation of the relationship I set up in Lazy Day. You don't need to read that to follow what happens here, but it might be worth it to read it first if you'd like. The main pairing here is Dotae, with Johnjae and Winil being side pairings. If you're here for either of those, you might be disappointed, as the main focus is Doyoung and Taeyong. Donghyuck is a literal angel here, so get yourself ready. I am so soft for him lately. SM is a bunch of snakes, so also be prepared for that. This was a beast of a story. It really got away from me in terms of length. As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoy.

Doyoung woke up with his mouth dry. A common occurrence with his retainer, but a feeling he never quite got used to. All of his spit just collected at the roof of his mouth, leaving his gums and tongue desert dry. He usually got up long before Taeyong to remove it, rinse it, and brush his teeth, since it was such a disgusting sight, but when he was finally able to open his eyes fully, he saw that the elder boy was already awake, peeking up at him from under his bangs.

"Hi, Bunny."

Doyoung felt his heart flutter, a warmth spreading out to his fingertips and making his toes curl.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry."

Taeyong smiled shyly. He shook his head, snuggling into his boyfriend's side, legs wrapping around his body.

"No. I forgot to put my phone on silent. Sicheng texted me from China, wanting to know our schedule. I think he's trying to fly back and see Taeil. His birthday is coming up, so it makes sense."

Doyoung chuckled.

"Well, he already milks his birthday for all it's worth. He's going to be unbearable once Sicheng gets here."

"Hey, be kind. It's been months since they've seen each other. How would you feel if your heart was in another country?"

Doyoung couldn't really say much. He couldn't imagine how difficult it was for Taeil and Sicheng. They had overcome so much as a couple: the language barrier, Yuta's hurt feelings in unrequited love, Sicheng's slow but steady removal from NCT 127, and being apart on separate schedules. Taeil was thrilled that Sicheng seemed to be so happy and comfortable with his WayV members, but it broke his heart to be away from the younger boy. Sicheng was very reserved, but he no doubt felt the same.

"Donghyuck is going to be crushed."

"Donghyuck has always known what the situation is. The three of them will figure it out. You coddle him. Just because he's our baby, doesn't mean he is one. He'll move on."

Doyoung scrunched his nose. He didn't coddle Donghyuck. He could hardly stand him.

"Don't make that face at me. You know damn well you love that kid."

It was Doyoung's turn to hide his face in his boyfriend's side.

Taeyong lifted the younger boy's face by his chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"I don't know how they do it. Being away from you...I. I couldn't stand it."

Doyoung placed his hand over Taeyong's heart.

"I'm right here. Always."

~

Doyoung spent the better part of his morning in bed with Taeyong. The older boy had his nose buried in a book, while the younger ran his fingers through blond hair. Doyoung didn't know how Taeyong's hair survived all the dyeing. His own hair felt crunchy, and only patches of it were dyed blue. He had the fleeting thought that Taeyong's hair was soft, because Taeyong himself was so soft and sweet. The idea made him gag a little. Mushy stuff. He hated that his hard shell was chipping away the longer he stayed with Taeyong. He didn't want to be a cream puff.

"Baby? What are you thinking about?"

Doyoung shifted under Taeyong's weight. How did he always know?

"Oh. Nothing. Just wondering how your hair hasn't fallen out of your head."

Taeyong flipped around, shutting his book, and side eyeing Doyoung.

"You know what conditioner I use. But don't put that out into the universe. If I go bald, it's your fault."

Doyoung laughed, cooing at Taeyong as he pouted.

"But seriously. What were you thinking about? I felt your heart. It went all jumpy."

That took Doyoung completely off guard. Betrayed by his own heartbeat. Stupid thing. But Taeyong clearly wasn't going to drop the subject, as he locked eyes with his boyfriend and held his gaze.

"I was just thinking that...it's weird. It's weird how you have been in my life for years, but not until recently, have I noticed just how much of an effect you've had on me. You make me...I don't know. Weaker somehow."

"Weaker? I don't understand..."

Doyoung could see the hurt in Taeyong's eyes. He had meant what he said, just not the way Taeyong had taken it.

"Shit. That's not what I meant. I... I feel more. Everything has a weight it didn't have before. I feel vulnerable because you know who I am. You're the only one that does."

Taeyong looked up at Doyoung, eyes a little teary.

"Emotion doesn't make you weak, Doyoung. It's strength. Hiding behind fortress walls doesn't make you strong. That's what makes you weak."

Doyoung nodded his head. He knew Taeyong was right. Doyoung kept this front up to keep everyone else out. Can't get hurt if you're locked in your own bunker at all times. But somewhere along the way, Taeyong had figured it out, had begun unlocking doors that Doyoung had forgotten existed. And while it felt good to let someone in, to have someone to lean on, he couldn't help but feel that made him weak. He had been on his own for so long, that needing Taeyong in any way felt pathetic.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. This is really hard for me."

Taeyong sniffed, delicate fingers lifting to wipe at his eyes. He had been where Doyoung was before. He had hidden behind his looks and a cocky demeanor for years. But it hadn't gotten him anywhere. In fact, he probably had his heart stepped on more because of it. People went out of their way to tear him down, because he was too pretty, too talented, too cold.

"I know. I know it is. But it's worth it. Don't hide yourself from me, Doyoung. Please. Please, let me in."

~

Doyoung took a drive alone that afternoon. He needed time to get his head right. As he drove through the rainy streets of Seoul, he let his entire relationship with Taeyong run through his mind. He was trying to pinpoint the second it all changed for him.

Taeyong had been intimidating when they first met. Handsome, gifted at dancing and rapping, well spoken. Doyoung wasn't surprised when he was made leader. It made perfect sense. NCT needed a face and a voice, and Taeyong had beauty in both.

If he was honest, he didn't much care for Taeyong in the beginning. The elder boy was arrogant, could be down right smug when it came to certain things, which was Doyoung's least favorite quality in a person. Confidence was perfectly fine, but cockiness just sent him over the edge. Taeyong was a preener, a peacock. Doyoung didn't feel any sincerity from him.

Being placed into a set unit with Taeyong was a catch 22 for him: the group would do well because their leader was stunning, but he didn't want to be known as "one of the guys in that group with the pretty boy." He had trained, sacrificed. He wanted to shine, not be popular by association.

Which is why it killed him that dancing wasn't his forte. He had begged, pleaded, nearly wept for management to assign him extra time with choreographers, but the company wouldn't pay for it. So he begged for more time with Sicheng, to help him figure out the steps. Sicheng, however, was detained almost immediately by Taeil's lack of dancing skill. They were in love even back then. He couldn't blame them, though he wanted to.

Doyoung decided he would just practice any spare moment he could find. Waiting in line at the convenience store, in the elevator up to the dorms, in the hallway outside the bathroom, but that was mostly to insure he got hot water for his shower. Everyone could see he was trying. The other members of NCT 127 were supportive. He thought he was getting there.

Until their first rehearsal. Where it was obvious to everyone that he wasn't up to speed with the rest of them. Doyoung panicked. This was it. He was going to be kicked out. Idols were expected to dance. He couldn't just sit on a barstool and sing ballads. The lump in his throat was about to turn into real tears when he felt someone take his hand.

"Doyoung-hyung. I can help you."

He looked down at the youngest member. Donghyuck. A child. It had never even registered to him to ask their maknae for help.

"You have enough on your plate, Donghyuck. You still have school. You need to get some sleep at some point. Thank you. But I can't ask you to do that for me.

Donghyuck averted his gaze, his hands fidgeting.

"But I want to help you. We need you."

So everyone else was wondering how long he could keep his spot, too. It would be nothing to replace him. Taeil had an even better range, and there were plenty of talented singers who could also dance circles around him. He needed to leave the practice room. Tears had turned to nausea, and he didn't want anyone to see him like this.

Doyoung bolted, running for the restroom just down the hall from the practice room. He barely made it to the toilet before his breakfast reappeared. If there was anything he hated in this world, throwing up was at the top of that list.

A knock from behind him let him know he wasn't alone.

"Doyoung? Are you okay?"

Great. The literal last person he wanted to check on him.

"Taeyong-hyung, I just got a little nervous. You should get back to the others."

"The others are fine. Your head is in the toilet. I think I'm where I need to be."

Doyoung groaned to himself. The elder boy just couldn't take a hint.

"That's why you should be in with them. It's not like I'll be in this subunit much longer."

Taeyong frowned at Doyoung's back.

"Why wouldn't you be? You think I'm going to let them remove a lead vocal because he's not a strong dancer? I'm leader. And main dancer, need I remind you. No one is getting booted because of choreography. Not while I am in NCT."

Doyoung didn't know whether to be grateful or not. He couldn't decide if Taeyong was sticking his neck out for him because he cared and genuinely wanted him in his subunit, or if he just wanted to make himself look good by saving him. Doyoung was proud, and he strongly assumed it was the latter. He couldn't argue, but he didn't like it.

"I should have taken Donghyuck up on his offer."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

~

Doyoung struggled through his dance tutoring with Taeyong. Every step seemed to flow so naturally from the older boy's body. It was maddening trying to just remember the choreography, let alone make it look effortless. The Cha Cha Slide took effort for him, and it told you how many stomps to make.

The only thing that kept him from up and quitting all together was that Donghyuck had refused to take no for an answer. He alternated his days dancing alongside Doyoung to help him with transitions, and doing his homework in the practice room. His mere presence made Doyoung feel more at ease. Always a smile on his face, a kind word, a scream of support. He really was the only sunlight in the entire situation.

"You know the steps. I don't get why this is so hard for you."

Taeyong was doubled over, hands on his knees, sweat dripping from his forehead. Doyoung didn't look any better. He was laid out on the floor, face red, shirt soaked, and now with a scowl on his face.

"I've never been a dancer. It's not about knowing the choreography. You have to make it look good. I don't know how to do that."

"Oh, my God. What are you even talking about?"

Donghyuck looked up from his math assignment. He had watched these two bicker for weeks now. The youngest member knew that Doyoung was giving his best, and he could see definite improvement. Normally, he would keep his mouth shut, but this didn't seem fair.

"I understand what you mean, Doyoung-hyung."

Two pairs of eyes snapped over in his direction. Both of them had forgotten Donghyuck was even in the room. Doyoung offered a small smile in gratitude, but Taeyong just scoffed.

"Care to explain it to me, then?"

"Okay. You know the lyrics to our songs, right? You know all of Doyoung's lines?"

"Of course."

"Okay. Sing them."

Taeyong flinched. He wasn't confident in his singing voice. A few easy lines here and there, a backup vocal folded underneath someone else's voice, those were okay. But he knew there was no way he could sing most of Doyoung's lines. He absolutely did not have the range for it.

Donghyuck picked up on Taeyong's hesitation and used it to his advantage.

"See? You do understand. It's not about knowing the words anymore than it's about knowing the steps. It's about executing both with confidence. Doyoung-hyung hasn't figured out that he's not a terrible dancer yet, so he fumbles through because he can't get out of his own head. You don't sing because you don't think your voice is good enough. It's the same thing."

"My voice is fine, Donghyuck. Thank you very much."

Donghyuck stood up now. He may be the youngest, but this had to stop.

"Taeyong-hyung. If you want to be a good leader, you need to know your members. And you need to accept that sometimes, you're full of crap, and have no idea what you're talking about. Doyoung-hyung is improving. Maybe if you stopped trying to make him into you, and praised him for what he's done, he could realize that he's already got the choreography down. That he's good enough to dance with the rest of us."

Doyoung dropped his gaze. He didn't know how Taeyong was going to respond to Donghyuck. There was a five year age gap, on top of a weird authority issue. He liked Donghyuck, was grateful for what he had said, but he couldn't believe he had spoken that way.

Taeyong glared at the youngest boy. The pride he wore as armor had taken a serious hit. Multiple hits, if he were being honest. Donghyuck had commented on just about every insecurity he had: not connecting with his members, not being an effective leader, not having all the answers, not being a good enough vocalist, etc. He was wounded. The urge to lash out at his maknae was overwhelming, but something stopped him.

"I think that's enough for today. Ask Johnny for help if you need it for that homework, Donghyuck."

The elder boy turned on his heel, leaving the younger boys to stare at each other.

~

Doyoung spent the rest of the evening trying to connect with Taeyong. He felt awful for not speaking up, though he wasn't quite sure why. He had been hoping that someone would knock Taeyong down a few pegs at some point, but now that it had happened, it bothered him immensely. Taeyong hadn't exploded or even really made any comment back at all, and Doyoung had expected him to. Instead, he had watched the elder boy crumple around the edges. His voice was softer when he spoke, his smile never quite reached his eyes. Nobody else seemed to notice, but Doyoung couldn't ignore it.

When the nine of them sat down at dinner, Taeyong hardly touched his food. Conversation flowed freely between the members, but he just couldn't seem to engage in it. Doyoung stared at him until Jaehyun waved his hand in front of his face.

"What's up?"

"Oh. Nothing. Nothing. I just spaced out. Sorry."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Definitely. Taeyong-hyung, I--"

Doyoung cursed. Someone had just stepped on his foot. He looked around the table, silently accusing each member, his eyes narrowed.

Donghyuck mouthed an "I'm sorry" at him, glanced at Taeyong, and shook his head. Doyoung felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was a text from Donghyuck.

"Don't ask him to talk in front of the others. His pride is already wounded, without you pointing it out to them, too."

Doyoung looked up, locking eyes with the younger boy. He nodded. Alone. They needed to do this alone.

~

Doyoung got his chance just before bedtime. He was leaving the bathroom, towel drying his hair, when he walked directly into Taeyong.

Taeyong stepped to the side, not even acknowledging their collision, moving to walk past Doyoung, who caught his wrist as he walked.

"Hyung. I need to talk to you."

"Doyoung, I think enough has been said today. Just leave it. It's fine."

"But it isn't. If you're going to lie, at least put in some effort. The others are going to find out something happened if you're not careful."

Taeyong turned toward Doyoung, his eyes narrowing.

"What? I'm not smart enough to keep it secret? Or are you going to tell them?"

Doyoung dropped Taeyong's wrist as if it was suddenly burning him.

"Of course not. And Donghyuck won't, either. But not everyone is oblivious, Taeyong. You don't want Yuta to find a weakness. He jokes around, but I don't know that you'd take it that way."

Taeyong walked away from Doyoung without a word or backwards glance.

~

Doyoung hadn't expected Taeyong to show up at practice the next day, but he was already stretching when the younger boy walked through the door.

"Hi."

"Hey. Wasn't sure you were going to meet me today."

"Oh. Yeah. I never miss an opportunity to dance. So."

Doyoung nodded. He didn't want to push further. He had said what he needed to the night before. It would be up to Taeyong now to bring up the subject.

"You are getting better. Donghyuck is right about that. I asked him to give us a few days one on one. He was kind enough to agree."

The words were out of his face before he could stop them.

"Oh, you've spoken to him? Did it go better than our exchange?"

Doyoung's hands flew up to cover his mouth. Stupid. Just plain stupid.

Taeyong smiled.

"Hyuck caught me before dinner. He's young, but has a lot figured out already. Don't tell him I said so."

"I won't. I won't. I promise."

"I'm not mortally wounded by what happened, Doyoung. It was fine yesterday. It is fine today. You're acting like we all got in a fist fight."

"Didn't we, though? Maybe your face isn't bruised, but he wasn't kind to you yesterday."

"It was refreshing, if I'm honest. Most people tell me what I want to hear. I respect him for not sugarcoating things. I can be an asshole. I shouldn't be one to my members."

"I don't think you've really been an asshole. I mean, you've helped me for weeks now..."

"You and I both know that I did that for me. I need your vocals, and I need to make a good impression as leader. I had no choice but to help you. If you're looking for someone who did it for the right reasons, you need only look at the maknae. Who, as much as I hate to admit, was right about something else."

Doyoung waited for Taeyong to continue. It didn't feel good to have his suspicions about the elder's motives confirmed. He didn't want to make this conversation easy for him anymore.

"Your choreography is enough. You're probably a little bit better than Taeil now. We could have stopped this before a while ago. Donghyuck saw it, even when I couldn't. These practices would have gone on, until it was impossible to tell the two of us apart when we dance. I wanted you at my level, instead of wanting you to be comfortable. I'm sorry."

Doyoung wasn't sure how to respond. It would take him years to be able to move as effortlessly as Taeyong did. If ever.

"I've just. I've worked so hard. There hasn't been room for anything but NCT in my life for so long. It has to go somewhere. This...this can't be for nothing."

Taeyong finally turned around to make eye contact with Doyoung. His eyes were glassy, his nose slightly pink.

"Hey. It's alright. We'll do just fine. You know, Mad City is my favorite song on the mini album. I can feel the emotion in your voice."

Taeyong sniffed.

"Really? I think I sound stupid."

"No. Not at all. It's really good."

They both exchanged small smiles. Maybe, just maybe, they could salvage this.

~

The two boys worked for a few weeks more, Taeyong focusing less on steps and more on attitude, while Doyoung showed him some vocal warmups he could work on to try to strengthen his voice. Donghyuck was allowed back on their last day, and he cheered for them both, tears in his eyes as Doyoung danced and Taeyong sang.

~

Upon debut, Doyoung could say that he and Taeyong were friends. They ate their meals together, spent free days walking around the city. Things had shifted, but he couldn't say that he had fallen for the other boy at that point. He was pretty sure Taeyong hadn't, either.

Looking back, he supposed it happened sometime in the room swap debacle.

Johnny and Jaehyun. Those two. What a friggin mess. It had been almost instantaneous. They met, and there was no hope for the rest of them. Rooms had been randomly assigned at the dorms. Taeil and Yuta. Doyoung and Jaehyun. Johnny and Taeyong. Mark, Donghyuck, and Sicheng.

They infected the common rooms first. Laying on top of each other. Johnny feeding Jaehyun while he sat in his lap. The two were told to keep a low profile, but they promptly ignored that request. A meeting was finally called after poor Mark had run into the living room, thinking someone was hurt, to find Johnny fucking into Jaehyun on the floor. They were told their interactions had to be behind closed doors. An amendment was made to also include bathrooms, as Yuta had nearly pissed his pants while they got up to whatever the hell one night.

That left either Johnny's room or Jaehyun's room. Taeyong and Doyoung were both stubborn enough to not want to switch rooms in the beginning. They both would make themselves scarce in the evening, hoping the couple would handle whatever they needed to in that time frame, and return only to sleep. It went okay for two weeks, until Doyoung was awoken by moaning coming from across the room. He had put his foot down immediately: Johnny was not allowed in his bedroom if he was present.

Taeyong, in an effort to be understanding, allowed Jaehyun to spend the night. Big mistake.

It took three nights of trying to tune out their shenanigans before he gave up sleeping in that room. He slept on the couch another four nights, but it wasn't comfortable, and he could hear everyone else snore and breathe and flush the toilet and get a drink. Finally, he broke down. He grabbed his pillow and made for the room at the end of the hall.

"Doyoung?" He knocked lightly. "Are you awake?"

Doyoung got up out of bed to answer the door.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to give up."

"I really like that room. I can't believe this is happening."

"Well, Jaehyun's bed is free. You're welcome to use it. Come on in."

~

Somewhere in the next few weeks, Taeyong officially relented, moving the bulk of his belongings into Doyoung's room. About a month after that, the two pushed their beds together. And six weeks after that, Doyoung woke up to lips on his.

Taeyong threw himself backward off the bed, landing with a crash on the floor.

"Doyoung. I. You were having a bad dream, and I. God, I don't know."

Doyoung touched his lips with his fingers. He felt tingly.

"Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I'll. I'll just go. I'm going."

Taeyong scrambled for the door.

"Hyung, wait."

Taeyong turned back, avoiding Doyoung's gaze.

"Do...do you think we could try that again?"

~

Doyoung smiled to himself at the memory. It had taken them an outrageous amount of time to be comfortable with affection. Hugs, holding hands, kissing, it was all awkward and bumbling for them. They hadn't even admitted to themselves what they were, when they were found out.

The door to their room flung open.

"Taeyong-hyung, I need to speak to--"

Doyoung pushed Taeyong away from him. They had done their best to keep whatever was happening to themselves. Most members were still too respectful to Taeyong to just barge in their room. They usually had a few moments to part and push their beds away from each other before opening the door.

"I'm sorry. I'll come back. Bye."

"Sicheng, come here. It's alright."

Taeyong had always been soft toward the Chinese member. He doted on him, buying him sweets and stuffed animals, pinching his cheeks, holding his hand. Taeil had long since stopped trying to get Taeyong to stop; he just accepted that most people loved his boyfriend.

Sicheng hesitated at the door.

"Chenggie, please. What's wrong?"

Doyoung walked over to the younger boy, his arm wrapping around his waist, pulling him into the room to sit him down on the bed.

"I just got the schedule for WayV promotions."

"That's great! I hope they've given you time to rest in between the world tour. Are you worried about being away from Taeil?"

Sicheng threw himself down onto the bed, babbling words into the pillow. Doyoung and Taeyong couldn't understand him. They had never seen him this upset before. It was unnerving.

"Sicheng, we can't hear you. What's happening?"

"You know how we thought it was weird that Jungwoo was joining a set subunit? Well, just look at this!"

Sicheng flung a piece of paper at the pair. Doyoung grabbed it first. His eyes went wide as he read the schedule. He threw the paper at Taeyong, moving further up the bed to curl around Sicheng's small frame.

"They can't do this. You're not going on tour with us? There must be a mistake."

"Taeyong. It makes sense."

"No. No. He's in 127. They told us WayV wouldn't interfere with other promotions. That's why Renjun and Chenle have to graduate from Dream first. The dates must be screwed up."

"Taeyong. Please."

Doyoung reached for Taeyong's hand. They crumpled around the younger boy, both joining in his tears.

"This is so unfair. Oh, Sicheng. I'm so sorry."

"How do I tell Taeil? He thought we were going to be on tour together this whole time. That we could spend everyday together until I flew back to China. What am I supposed to do now?"

Doyoung choked on a sob. Management had done some awful things in their time, but this. This took the cake.

"Does Jungwoo know?"

"He moves into Taeil and Yuta's room this afternoon. God, Taeil is going to freak out on him."

"No. He won't. None of us can. This isn't Jungwoo's fault."

"I know. I'm not mad at him. I should have told Taeil first."

Taeyong pulled Sicheng into his lap. Doyoung scooted forward to wipe the tears from the younger boy's eyes. Sicheng grabbed his hand and held it.

"Hey. You are still 127. This doesn't change anything. Sure, you'll be away from Taeil, but he'll be away from home, too. You'll both be busy. That'll help. You'll have Xuxi. And you'll be in China. The way they went about it is awful, but maybe it won't be so bad?"

Sicheng sniffed.

"Do you really think we'll survive it? Me being away? Me being with Xuxi?"

Doyoung smiled. There had been a little drama when Xuxi had joined NCT. Promotions for Boss had allowed the two boys to become very close. Something not lost on Taeil. But Taeil wasn't completely guiltless, either. His eye had wandered to other members before.

"I think you've been together long enough to know what you mean to each other. If you want it to work, you'll find a way to make it happen. He loves you. You need to tell him."

Sicheng sighed. He hugged Taeyong tight, and he kissed Doyoung's hand.

"You're right."

Sicheng got up from the bed, walked a few steps, then turned back around.

"I think it's really cute that you're together. I won't say anything. See you at dinner."

He walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Did you mean what you told him? About being together long enough to know?"

Doyoung played with the hem of his shirt.

"We're not talking about them now, are we?"

Taeyong shook his head.

~

Doyoung made it back to the dorm just as the sun was going down. He had a gut feeling that Taeyong wasn't inside. He found his boyfriend in the little garden outside their bedroom.

"There you are. I thought you'd been kidnapped."

Taeyong smiled, reaching his hand out to take Doyoung's. The younger boy sat down on the bench, draping his legs over the elder boy's lap.

"I've been thinking."

"Did you hurt yourself?"

Doyoung smacked Taeyong's chest, half-heartedly. He wheezed that laugh that Doyoung had come to love.

"Shut up. No. I've been thinking that. Well. The guys know. You know. I know. Maybe we should..."

"What? Make out on stage?"

Doyoung squawked.

"Not what I meant. I know what you are to me. I know what I want us to be. And so I want to..."

He flushed. Full body. Head to toe. Pink.

"You want to...?"

"I want to touch you, Taeyong. I want to feel you. I want to...be with you...that way."

It was Taeyong's turn to flush. He had wanted to touch Doyoung for well over a year now, but knew his boyfriend wasn't ready. This was....more than he could handle.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. Tonight. Before I get too in my own head about it."

"Alright. Tonight."

~

Taeyong was pacing the bedroom while Doyoung took a shower. He had made a mad dash to the convenience store, grabbing everything he thought he would need for the evening. He wasn't sure how to go about this. He had only ever done this one other time, and he wasn't even really involved in the main event.

Taeyong's only sexual encounter up to that point, was loosely related to his old roommate. He had woken up, hard, to Johnny and Jaehyun having sex across the room. He had tried, unsuccessfully, to be quiet as he took care of himself under the sheets.

Jaehyun had noticed almost immediately that he was awake, realizing very soon afterward that Taeyong was feverishly jacking off. He had pointed it out to Johnny, who gave his boyfriend a sly grin, and pulled out.

"Taeyong? Whatcha doin?"

The younger boy had stopped all movement, and pretended to snore.

"We know you're awake, Yonggie. And we know what you're doing."

"Do you want us to help you?"

Taeyong heard the other bed creak, bodies shifting, and feet hitting the floor. He tucked his dick into the waistband of his boxers, shoving his face into his pillow as hard as he could. Smothering himself seemed like a better option than acknowledging the incredibly awkward situation before him.

"Yonggie? It's okay. You can't help how your body reacts. We don't mind, do we, Jae?"

"Not at all. We have a confession to make, Taeyong-hyung."

Taeyong's dick twitched at the way Jaehyun said "hyung." Oh, dear God. This could not be happening. He turned to them, his eyes glued to their faces, as they were still very much naked, and he assumed, very much still ready to go.

"What's that?"

"Well, we think you're really pretty, Yonggie."

"And we were kind of hoping this would happen sometime. Because, well...you ask him, Johnny."

Johnny sighed, running his hands through Jaehyun's hair.

"Do you want to join us?"

Taeyong flailed, feet scrambling to gain traction on the bedsheets so he could scoot away from the other boys.

"Join you?! But you're together!"

"Yes, but we don't mind sharing. We don't want to pressure you into anything. But...if you wanted..."

"We could help you with that."

Johnny pointed to the still obvious bulge in Taeyong's pants. If one could die of embarrassment, Taeyong would have. But he would also be lying to himself if he wasn't slightly intrigued by their offer. His own hand got boring, maybe one of theirs would feel better.

"No. You guys are together. I can't."

Johnny and Jaehyun gave each other a look, then smiled.

"Sure, Tae. We understand. We're going to go back to what we were doing. You can, too."

"Yeah. Don't hide it, though. We get off on it."

Taeyong blanched as the meaning of those words finally set in.

"You like being watched?"

"Duh. Why do you think we did stuff in the common areas?"

Taeyong watched as Jaehyun settled himself into Johnny's lap, Johnny's lips attached to his neck. He watched how seamlessly they moved together, like they were one person. It made a blush creep up his body and spread out to his fingers and toes. He knew he should have left, but he just...couldn't. Taeyong watched as the couple continued, listened to Johnny's voice deepen a few octaves, while Jaehyun's breath caught in his throat. Slowly, as discreetly as he could manage, Taeyong slid his boxers down, his right hand finding his dick and giving it a gentle stroke. This was beyond bizarre, but they had given him permission.

An hour later, everyone in the room was covered in cum.

"You are never to speak a word of this to anyone."

"Your secret is safe with us, Yonggie."

~

Doyoung let the water rain down on his head. He was really going to do this. It wasn't his first time. But it was the first time he had been with another man. He knew the mechanics were different, and that made him incredibly nervous. He had been told before, "one man knows what another man wants," but rather than give him confidence, it made him panic. What if what he liked was weird? What if his dick was abnormal?

Doyoung turned the water off, reaching for his towel. As he dabbed himself dry, he looked at his body. Skinny. Strong. Long. Would Taeyong like it? Of course, they had both been naked around each other. Tour life basically demanded it. But he had never really looked at his boyfriend since his feelings had shifted. Maybe this was all a big mistake.

Then came a knock at the door.

"Doyoung-hyung? Are you about done?"

Jungwoo.

"Two minutes, Jungwoo."

"Are you decent? I just gotta pee."

"Can't it wait?"

"No. Not really."

Doyoung rolled his eyes, flinging the door open to let Jungwoo run through it.

"I'm sorry. The other two bathrooms are full. I didn't want to go outside."

"It's fine."

"What's wrong?"

"Are we really having this conversation while you have your dick in your hand?"

"You wanna hold it for me?"

"Goodbye, Jungwoo."

~

Taeyong was standing next to their bed when Doyoung walked in. They both looked at each other shyly.

"Hi."

Doyoung waved. Taeyong reached his hand out to him, pulling him in close.

"You're all toasty from your shower."

"Mmmm."

Taeyong looked up at Doyoung under his bangs. He rose up on tiptoes to place a kiss on Doyoung's forehead.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah. You?"

"About to crawl out of my skin."

Doyoung giggled. Good. They were both petrified, and that somehow made it easier.

"I've wanted this for a really long time."

"I know. Me too. I just, I was afraid of what it could mean if we did this. What could change if we did this."

Taeyong kissed along Doyoung's jawline.

"And?"

"And I've decided that it's worth it."

"Good."

Taeyong abandoned the trail he was making toward Doyoung's ear. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck, and kissed him deep. Doyoung immediately opened his mouth, sighing into the kiss, letting all his anxiety go. This was it. It was finally happening.

Doyoung pushed Taeyong back until his legs hit the bed. The elder boy sat down, pulling the younger boy down on top of him as he moved to lay down. Their teeth clacked together, and they broke apart, laughing.

"It's already a mess."

"It is. But it's perfect with you."

Doyoung leaned down to claim Taeyong's mouth again, his tongue delving deep, exploring. Taeyong moaned into his boyfriend's mouth. He loved kissing Doyoung. It was his favorite thing in the world to do. But tonight, it wasn't enough. He wanted more.

Taeyong tilted his hips upward, hoping to find some friction. Doyoung gasped into his mouth, before rutting down to meet Taeyong's hips. They grinded this way for a few minutes, the pressure delicious but not enough to really get them anywhere.

"Why are you still wearing clothes?"

"You aren't exactly naked yourself."

Doyoung bit Taeyong's lip, causing the elder to yelp. He removed his own t shirt, flinging it across the room, before lifting Taeyong's, which got caught on his chin.

"Doyoung, quit pulling. You're going to decapitate me."

"This is the least sexy disrobing in the history of human events."

Taeyong laughed until he could hardly breathe. Finally, he was able to remove his shirt.

"Get up. Take your own pants off. I'll get mine."

Doyoung practically flung himself onto the floor with the speed of his movements, shedding his sweat pants in record time.

"Should we--should we do boxers, too?"

Taeyong smiled.

"Yeah. May as well."

Doyoung turned his back to Taeyong, before sliding his boxers down his legs, and stepping out of them. He could hear rustling behind him, signifying that Taeyong was probably getting naked, too. The moment of truth.

"Hey. Let me see you."

Doyoung turned around slowly, hands covering what he could, eyes closed tight.

"You're beautiful."

Doyoung shook his head.

"Baby, look at me. Please."

Doyoung slowly opened one eye, then the other. Taeyong was sitting at the edge of the bed. Doyoung mentally photographed every inch of skin. Including Taeyong's dick, which apparently liked what it saw.

"Come here."

Doyoung walked over to stand in front of his boyfriend. Taeyong sat him down on the bed, then moved to kneel in front of him on the floor.

"Is this okay?"

Taeyong ran his fingertips up Doyoung's thighs. Feather light, barely there. He leaned forward, placing open mouth kisses wherever his lips could touch, sucking the skin a little as Doyoung sighed. It felt good. Really good.

"Can I see?"

"See what?"

Taeyong snorted. Doyoung looked down, and saw Taeyong's finger pointed at his crotch. He hadn't realized that he still held his junk firmly in his hands. He removed one hand, then the other.

"Jesus."

Doyoung was mortified. He moved to cover himself.

"Don't you dare. I thought Johnny had the biggest dick out of all of us."

Johnny did. When nobody was hard. Doyoung was a grower, not a shower.

"I could not be more uncomfortable if I tried."

"Why are you embarrassed? That is a gift! I should be embarrassed. Mine is even smaller than Mark's."

"Can we PLEASE stop discussing other people's dicks? Please."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Doyoung closed his eyes. It was taking every ounce of his strength to not cover himself and run away.

"Can I touch you?"

Taeyong reached out, cupping Doyoung's cheek with his hand. Doyoung leaned into the touch, trying to ground himself. He nodded, almost imperceptibly.

Taeyong maintained his hold on Doyoung's cheek, as he reached out to touch him with his other hand. Doyoung's dick pulsed on contact, a drop of precum appearing at the tip. Taeyong ran his thumb through it, dragging it down the outrageous length of Doyoung's dick. He noticed Doyoung's legs shaking.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to stop?"

Doyoung's voice was strained as he responded.

"No. Please, don't stop."

Taeyong tried to stifle the whimper that sounded in his throat. He scooted forward, licking his lips. Doyoung still had his eyes squeezed shut.

"Look at me so I know that you hear me."

Doyoung opened his eyes, glancing down at his boyfriend.

"If you want me to stop, say so. Okay?"

Doyoung nodded, his fingers gripping the sheets. Taeyong saw it, and reached out to hold one of Doyoung's hands. He then firmly wrapped his free hand around Doyoung, giving him a few strokes. Taeyong looked up only to make sure Doyoung was okay, before continuing.

Taeyong leaned forward, blowing out a breath onto the tip. Doyoung shuddered, but stayed quiet. Taeyong tentatively gave a tiny lick to the head, collecting what precum had pooled there.

"I knew you would taste good."

Doyoung squeezed the hand he was holding, his breath catching in his throat. Taeyong took this as a good sign. He licked a stripe from base to tip, feeling how heavy Doyoung's cock was, as it twitched against his tongue. Good God.

He knew he'd never be able to take all of him, not without practice and training, but he still wanted to try. Taeyong sucked what he could into his mouth, his tongue massaging the underside of Doyoung's cock as he moved up and down.

Doyoung cursed, his free hand moving to Taeyong's hair. Not to push his head down, but to help ground himself in the moment. It felt good. Too good. He couldn't let Taeyong do this too long. It would be over before it even started.

"Baby. God. Baby, you feel so good."

Taeyong smiled around the dick in his mouth, pulling up while sucking hard, his tongue flicking across the tip. He pulled off completely, moving to nibble on Doyoung's thighs. The loss of contact on his dick made him whine.

"Hyuuuuuung. Pleeeeease."

"Fuck. You don't know what that does to me."

"Actually...I do. Jaehyun told me to call you that if we ever did this."

"WHY are we talking about the others?"

Taeyong gave Doyoung's cock a strong tug, snapping his focus back to the matter at hand. Doyoung moaned, low in his throat, his toes curling. Taeyong continued stroking the base of his cock, hand meeting lips as he sucked. After a few minutes, Doyoung couldn't take it anymore.

"Hyung. Hyung, stop. I'm gonna come if you don't."

Taeyong weighed his options. Could he settle for a blowjob? Did he risk Doyoung being able to go another round? Deciding the juice wasn't worth the squeeze, he pulled off Doyoung's cock with a pop.

"I'm sorry."

Taeyong looked up at his boyfriend. He still looked so shy. It made his heart flutter.

"Don't be. You doing okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fantastic. You?"

"I've been better."

Taeyong sat back, putting his package on full display. Doyoung could see immediately what Taeyong meant. His dick was red, angry with neglect. He hadn't thought about it at first, but now he realized that Taeyong's dick hadn't been touched the entire time they had been at this. The guilt washed over him immediately.

"Yonggie. Oh, poor hyung."

As he said it, he watched Taeyong's dick smack against his hipbone, a string of precum connecting across the expanse.

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

"You could prep me."

Doyoung faltered.

"Oh. I thought you would..."

"You want me to top you?"

"No! Not unless you want to. I just. Well, you're older, so..."

"Maybe someday, if you decide you want to try it, but no. Tonight, I want that beautiful dick inside me."

Doyoung blushed. He'd never known Taeyong could speak like that. It was incredibly sexy.

"Hyung, come lay down."

Taeyong did as he was told. Doyoung climbed on the bed next to him, fidgeting slightly.

"I have to be honest with you. I...don't quite know what I'm doing here."

Taeyong leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing the tube of lube and tossing it to his boyfriend.

"Pour some out onto your fingers. Swirl it around so it isn't cold. Then, well, start slow and work your way up."

Doyoung looked at his fingers. Oh! Start with one, then add. He could do that. He poured lube onto the fingers of his right hand, warming it the way Taeyong had instructed.

"Spread your legs for me, hyung."

"Jesus, I know you're not trying to, but you're fucking killing me."

Doyoung gave his boyfriend a shy smile. He tentatively traced a line of lube across Taeyong's entrance, the elder boy gasping at the sensation.

"Keep going. It's good. You're so good."

Doyoung reached out to gently stroke Taeyong as he pushed his index finger slowly inside him. It was slightly uncomfortable, more of a burn than pain. Doyoung waited a minute, until Taeyong's face relaxed. Then, he began to move the digit back and forth. He watched his boyfriend, fascinated. Taeyong had his eyebrows knitted together, his lips pushed out into a pout. Every now and again, he would lick his lips, looking up at Doyoung through lidded eyes.

"You look so good like this, Tae."

Taeyong covered his face with his hands, shy all of a sudden. Doyoung let him. He understood better than anyone the way the elder felt right now.

"Can I add more?"

Taeyong nodded, breathing out as Doyoung pressed another finger into him. The burn was easier this time, more pleasant.

"Yonggie, how-- how many fingers do you think you'll need before...?"

Taeyong laughed, clamping down around Doyoung's fingers.

"Getting bored? Minimum three. Maybe four. Otherwise, you're going to hurt me."

Doyoung definitely did not want to hurt Taeyong. He breathed out an "okay" before repeating his motions with two fingers. When Taeyong started to respond, he added a third. On accident, Doyoung found Taeyong's prostate, making the elder cry out as he brushed it with his fingertips.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'm hurting you. I'm sorry."

"If you stop, I'll hurt YOU. It feels amazing, just startled me is all. Hurry up. I want more than your fingers."

Doyoung worked with a vengeance now, adding a fourth finger, and opening Taeyong up with renewed vigor. He had given up on stroking Taeyong's dick for the sake of stroking his own. God, this was too much.

"Yonggie? Do you think...?"

"Yes. Please."

Doyoung removed his fingers, watching his boyfriend whine as he went from full to empty. He rolled a condom on, slathered some lube across his dick, and made to line up with Taeyong's entrance. Taeyong wrapped his legs around his boyfriend, pulling him down to kiss him.

"I love you. More than you know."

"I love you, too."

Doyoung eased in slowly, letting Taeyong guide his movements by facial expressions and sounds. Taeyong was tight, probably too tight. Doyoung wasn't going to be able to push completely inside. Not tonight anyway.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just. Slow."

Doyoung quit pushing forward, giving Taeyong time to adjust. He began kissing the elder anywhere he could reach: forehead, nose, ears, jaw, neck, before latching onto his collarbone as a lifeline to keep him from bucking forward.

"Don't move forward. Try going back."

Doyoung began to ease his hips back, dragging slowly along Taeyong's walls. Taeyong gripped his boyfriend's back, the pain white hot. He knew he just needed to push through it. That in a few minutes, it would start to shift and feel good.

"Taeyong, I'm hurting you. You're shaking."

"No. I'm alright. I'll adjust. Please."

He sounded so pitiful, Doyoung almost pulled completely out. Taeyong moved his hands down to Doyoung's ass and pulled, holding him in place.

"I said 'I'm alright.' I meant it."

There was a fire in Taeyong's eyes that Doyoung had only ever seen once before. The day he told management off for what they had done to Sicheng. Taeyong was determined to make this work, so Doyoung waited, his hips wanting desperately to snap forward, until Taeyong gave him a sign.

It took ten minutes of slowly rocking back and forth before Taeyong rolled his hips down onto Doyoung, a moan slipping past his lips. Doyoung had his hands fisted in the sheets to keep still.

"Christ, Taeyong."

"I'm sorry. It was involuntary."

"Does this mean I can move?"

"God. Yes. Move."

Doyoung sped up ever so slightly, not going any deeper than he had initially. Taeyong let out the prettiest moans whenever Doyoung would pull back, his heels digging into Doyoung's spine to send him forward again. The younger boy's head was swimming. Every thought in his mind was consumed with Taeyong: the way his face scrunched up when he moaned, how his eyes fluttered shut as he concentrated, how his hips ground down to meet Doyoung's thrusts. It was like the air in the room had gotten too thin.

"Bunny, can I try something?"

"What?"

"Flip us."

"You want to ride me? I don't think we're ready for that."

"Trust me, just do it."

Doyoung pulled out of Taeyong.

"You weren't supposed to do that!"

"I don't want my dick broken!"

Taeyong pouted but understood. Changing positions could be dangerous with a dick like Doyoung's. He stood on wobbly legs, pushing the younger boy down onto his back. Taeyong straddled him, sinking lower and lower onto Doyoung's cock. The stretch was intense, the angle different, but the feeling delicious.

"Fuck, Tae."

"Me too."

Taeyong couldn't bottom out, but he didn't really need to. He leaned forward, laying flat against Doyoung's chest, and began rocking his hips back and forth. Doyoung moaned low in his throat, his hands flying to Taeyong's hips, helping him hold his position.

"Taeyong, I'm not going to be able to hold out much longer."

Taeyong sat up, using what little strength he had left in his legs to hold him in place.

"Touch me, then."

Doyoung reached forward to stroke Taeyong as he writhed on top of him. Taeyong rode him with the same fluidity as he danced. It broke his focus just long enough to hold out for the elder to fall apart.

"Bunny. I--"

"Come for me, Yonggie. It's alright."

Three rolls of his hips later, Taeyong came in spurts of white onto Doyoung's chest. He all but collapsed as his legs gave out from the force of his orgasm. Doyoung moved quickly, scooping him up, and laying him back against the sheets.

"Can I?"

"Please."

Doyoung snapped his hips forward, rocking in and out of Taeyong, feeling his walls clench down around him. Soon after, he came, Taeyong's name a low growl as his dick pulsed.

Doyoung slowly pulled out of Taeyong, who handed him a tissue to wrap the condom up in. Doyoung didn't have the strength to throw it away, setting it on the bedside table.

"You're going to have to clean that tomorrow. I don't want stains on the glass."

"Well, I guess you'll have to wash these sheets while I'm at it, since the cum stains are yours."

"You laid down! Bunny!"

"Oh, fine. I'll do laundry, too. Come here.

Doyoung pulled Taeyong into his chest, exhaustion taking the both of them. They were asleep in minutes.

~

Taeyong woke up first the next morning, a pain shooting through his entire body. Great. He turned as slowly as he could to look at his boyfriend. Worry was written on his face as he slumbered. Bad dreams again. If Taeyong had dreamed last night, he didn't remember it.

He leaned forward, planting a kiss to Doyoung's lips as he often did when the younger boy had a nightmare. Doyoung must have been close to waking, because Taeyong soon felt pressure against his own lips.

"Morning, baby. You feeling okay?"

"Everything hurts. But I wouldn't trade it."

"Good. Let's go eat."

~

Jaehyun gave Johnny a knowing glance, as Taeyong struggled to sit on the wooden bench across from him.

"Rough night, hyung?"


End file.
